The Company We Keep

"Choose your friends carefully, you're known by the company you keep," my mother admonished. Earlier that summer we moved from a very small town where everyone knew not only each other, but pretty much all there was to know about each other's extended family back a couple of generations. Now in the "big city" of Montgomery, it was impossible to know even all the members of the large sophomore class at my new high school. I'm not sure it was so much a matter of my choosing friends as it was a matter of who befriended me, the new girl.

Now, many years later, I hope that Mother's advice is still true. In an earlier blog I jokingly questioned if I might be considered an author groupie or stalker. Hopefully they don't consider me too obnoxious, and I doubt that anyone would ever consider me dangerous. I like to be around writers. Sometimes there is a snob in the group who is very proud of their success, and can't be bothered with lesser beings like me. But, for the most part, the authors I've met are generous and encouraging to those of us who wish to enter their magic circle.

Last weekend I attended the annual conference of the Alabama Writers Conclave. The group claims the distinction of being the oldest writers' organization in continuous existence in the United States. The weekend is packed with sessions conducted by writers in various genres, times to mingle with other participants, and a ceremony during which the winners of the annual competition are announced. That writers from almost every state vie for these awards says something. Then throw in that the conference met in Fairhope, Alabama - well, what more could one want? Did I forget to mention that Rick Bragg was our keynote speaker?

It was a wonderful weekend. It is my hope that things I learned there will help me improve my writing. Being around all those people who are actively writing inspires me.

 Oh, that I would be known by keeping company with that interesting group!

The Things We Leave Behind

Although time and geography have spread our family members apart, we still consider each other close kin to about thirteenth cousin out. Actually I’m not good at all the rankings of first, second, third cousin once removed, et cetera.  So the easiest way to explain my relationship to a cousin who visited last week is that our grandfathers were brothers.

During her visit was we shared old photos, documents, and other genealogical information.  One of the unexpected treasures that she brought was an audio tape which my mother had made in 1998, when she was 81 years old. At that time Mother was visually impaired to the extent that she could no longer read, so writing letters was no longer possible. My cousin requested that, as a gift for her young daughter, my mother make a tape of remembrances about her grandmother, (the late great-great-grandmother of the child.)

Until recently I had no idea that this tape existed. Because Mother died in 2005, it was bittersweet  to hear the tape the first time. First it brought tears, then joy to hear her voice again. I barely remember the grandmother, my great-grandmother, that Mother reminisced about, because she died when I was only six years old. So hearing Mother’s remembrances was as much a gift to me as it was for the great-great-grandchild born many years later.

All this has made me wonder what I should be leaving for my children or grandchildren. Have I told them the stories of my childhood, memories of my grandmothers, of my mother? They may not be that interested now, but many years from now would they find it as interesting as I did Mother’s tape about my great-grandmother?  From all accounts, my great-grandmother did not consider herself special, and neither did my grandmothers, nor my mother. But  each of them left a priceless legacy - funny, sometimes touching, family stories, and memories of them that warm me like a hug. What could be more special than that?

Learning to Drive

Learning to drive may present a few problems for Malia Obama. Who is going to be her instructor? What about the secret service following along? In the photos Malia appears happy or excited to begin the adventure this summer.

I may have been the only teen in history with absolutely no interest in learning how to drive. It was fine with me for a parent, friend, or date to chauffeur me around. My mother had other ideas. At her insistence I obtained the booklet, studied it, passed the test with flying colors and was granted the learner’s permit. Getting behind the wheel was another matter. I did not want to do it. My friends would beg their parents to check them out of school on the day of their sixteenth birthday to take them for the driving test, which when passed would end in the issuance of the coveted license. Since my mother was a teacher, she took a dim view of either of us missing school for anything other than a major illness, so skipping school on my March birthday to take the test was not an option. It was also determined that I had not had adequate practice to pass the test. Reprieve!

But the reprieve was not to last. When summer came, Mother declared that there would be a driving lesson each day until I got my license. As soon as the dishes were washed after lunch she would take her ‘nerve pill,’ I would get some Kleenex, and we would get into the car. The lesson would last for a specified amount of time, until she couldn’t take it anymore, or until I was crying too much to drive.

Mother began driving when she was only thirteen. When my grandmother took her nap in the afternoon, Mother sat in the Model A Ford and studied the booklet that came with the car. One day she decided she understood it, cranked the car, and drove around the circle in front of their house. Waked by the sound, Grandmother came out of the house just as Mother circled around. Grandmother got in the car, Mother drove around the circle again a few times, and from then on Mother drove. I’m not sure when she got her first license, but there are stories, some quite comical, of obtaining licenses in various states when they moved for my father’s jobs just before WWII.

There were many things that Mother insisted that I learn. The only two that I remember disliking intensely were learning to drive and learning to type. Mother was a very wise woman; the things I liked learning the least are the things I’ve used the most.

 

Taking a Different Route

There was no Brownie or Girl Scout troop in the small town where I grew up, so perhaps I have a tiny bit of an excuse for not knowing some things. I am acquainted with people who can glance at the sky, and from the position of the sun, have a good idea of what time it might be. I am not one of those people. Neither can I tell you which direction I am facing except at sunrise or sundown. But I do like maps – as decorative objects. Their intended use of providing navigational aid is lost on me. On some intellectual level I almost understand how they work, but can’t make the leap to using the information to actually find my way around. As one of my friends said long ago, I could get lost in a paper bag. Despite the fact that I’ve lived there for years, once in awhile I get turned around in my own neighborhood. In other words, ‘directionally challenged’ does not even begin to describe my problem.

Only in recent years have I had to find my way around on my own on trips, but becoming a widow meant that unless I wanted to stay at home forever, I had to bite the proverbial bullet and get out there. Thank goodness for MapQuest and a GPS. I usually start out with both, but the GPS is the best for me because I don’t have to try to read a page and watch the road at the same time. The GPS also understands my attention span and reminds me several times what I have to do, then if I miss a turn, immediately (sometimes very aggravatingly) insists that I make a legal u-turn.

Having said all this, perhaps it is understandable that part of my trip yesterday turned into an adventure for me. Traveling from near Jackson, MS, to Austin, TX, I planned to leave I-20 near the Louisiana line and head south to Austin. My GPS was adamant that I stay on it through Dallas. For me it was an act of bravery that I turned off the GPS. True, I did have a MapQuest print-out, but not for the exact route. Nor did I have a Texas map with me. In a rather startling realization of how dependent on the GPS I’ve become, it took several miles before I got over the slight panic at being disconnected and settled down for a pleasant ride on smaller roads through the Texas countryside. Had I stayed on the Interstate I’m not sure what the scenery would have been, but along the long stretches between the small towns there were lovely wildflowers, long-horn cattle, beautiful trees, and the best surprise of the day: a Roadrunner! Seeing the spunky little bird was such a delight that I laughed out loud, and continued happily on a different route.

Thank you, Pharrell Williams

Until a recent awards show I had never heard of Pharrell Williams. I know, you are thinking that I must live under a rock to not have known about him or his music. Please bear in mind that I am at least a senior, or by some standards elderly, citizen even if I do not admit to being old. But since that first sighting of Mr. Williams and that hat, I have become a fan. Well, that is if you can call it being a fan if I am still unfamiliar with most of his music.

Anyone who can write and perform a song that makes people around the world of different cultures want to sing, dance, and rejoice in being happy deserves all the awards and accolades. But it was in an interview with Oprah Winfrey that Pharrell Williams made an impression on me. During their conversation he repeatedly gave credit to the teachers, especially music teachers that had meant so much in his life. When shown video of people across the world singing and dancing to his song, he seemed genuinely touched that his music reached so many.  Later I saw a clip of when he visited a class, surprising the teacher and her students. It seemed like an honest gift to that teacher rather than just another celebrity seeking a photo op.

In an earlier blog I talked about my music teacher and put in a plug for education in all the arts in our schools. Hearing Pharrell Williams talking about his teachers, I couldn’t help but wonder how many children are out there, loaded with talent that they may not even recognize yet, or have a chance to develop without access to an arts program.

I’m not suggesting that we neglect science, math, or any of the other areas. But we really need things that cross all national and political boundaries, unite us, remind us of the ways in which we all are alike, and make us happy. That his song can do that reminds us of the power of art.

Thank you, Pharell Williams.  

 

This and That

My last post was about music, yet most of my teaching career was as a visual art teacher, and now I'm trying to be a writer. In the lingo that some of my former students might have used, "What's up with that?" The off-hand quip I usually respond with is that I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. But the more serious answer is that most of us live longer than some generations before us, so we have time for more than one career. In addition, many of us will spend perhaps decades in retirement and thus be able to take seriously what was once a hobby.

I have just returned from the Daddy's Girls' Weekend, a conference for writers and readers. More about that in just a bit, but for now I want to take a sidestep and mention an interesting conversation I had with someone there. We were both in favor of a liberal arts education, of programs that give students a broad base of knowledge - of instilling in them the desire to learn, and giving them the skills to continue learning over a lifetime.

When I was eighteen I was certain that I wanted to do cooking demonstrations as a Home Economist for Alabama Power or Alabama Gas (alas, the Food Network was unheard of at that time,)  or perhaps work for the Extension Service, so my first degree was in Vocational Home Economics. I taught in the field for awhile, but realized later that I wanted to do something else. Taking an art course for my own enjoyment led to another, and another, until I had a second degree in Visual Art, then later yet another degree in Textile Design, followed by additional courses in a variety of areas. You've probably figured out by now that I love going to school, so teaching was the next best thing to being a student. And I got paid to teach. I'm so grateful that my educational experience from high school forward was not limited to one specific area. My life has been so much richer for having been encouraged to explore more than one option whether it be in the sciences (yes, I also taught science, briefly) or in the arts.Will I have a late-life career as a writer? Who knows? But the pursuit of it is satisfying, and I'd like to think that it keeps my brain from totally turning to mush.

That brings me back to the Daddy's Girls' Weekend. If you are a fan of the Carolyn Haines 'Bones' mystery series featuring Sarah Booth Delaney and her side-kick, Tinkie, you probably have heard of the conference. If not, go to www.carolynhaines.com. for more information about it and her books, including the latest in the 'Bones' series that releases on May 20. At DGW, several fans and many would-be writers (including me) gather to learn more about writing and to meet authors, agents, and publishers. To let you know how much fun it is, someone who came from New Zealand last year returned this year! 

In case I don't post again before then, don't forget the Alabama Book Festival on April 19. 

"It Might as Well Be Spring"

My high school teacher, Mrs. Merle Mc Corkle, was fond of Rogers and Hammerstein musicals. Actually, of almost all musicals, so we often sang medleys from many of them. It is surprising how often I find myself humming some of the tunes or singing some of the lyrics, if I can remember them, that is. After all, it’s been over 50 years since I was in her chorus.

 According to the calendar, the first day of spring was March 20, a day I’m particularly fond of, not only because it was my birthday, but because spring is my favorite time of year. What’s not to like when all the daffodils are in bloom? But I’m getting off track here. The song that has been running through my head lately is “It Might as Well Be Spring” from the musical State Fair.  It’s a song more about restlessness and wanting to be in love than spring, but perhaps just the word ‘spring’ in the refrain was what brought it to mind and voice in the last few days. From there my mind wandered to some of the other show tunes and once again I felt a deep appreciation for what Mrs. McCorkle meant to me. The number of students in the Lanier sophomore class that year was one and a half times the population of the town from which our family had recently moved, the number of students in the chorus almost that of the junior high I’d attended. Needless to say, I’d never seen a play on Broadway, nor heard most of the music.

Some critics said that ‘Mrs. Mac’ taught us music that was too mature for us, but I don’t think these detractors ever realized what a gift the exposure we had in her class was to many of us. We sang music from all but forgotten musicals such as The Desert Song by Romberg (which made its debut in 1926,) along with other classics including H. M. S. Pinafore, Oklahoma, South Pacific, Sound of Music, and Showboat. But it wasn’t all show tunes. We came to know Handel, Beethoven, Bach, and many others whose names I may have forgotten to attribute to their compositions, but not their soul-uplifting music. And last, but not least, were the rousing patriotic songs. The closing number of the concert each year was a stirring arrangement of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," during which we former students eagerly went on stage to once again be part of her chorus.

I’ve rambled more than a bit in this post. Maybe it’s spring fever, or perhaps it’s soap box time. In all the midst of all the discussion about Common Core and educational standards, I wonder if those making the decisions know what a life-long impact exposure to all the arts can have. Because of Mrs. McCorkle and the opportunity to sing in her chorus, I developed a joy for music that has only grown, and thanks to her, I’m never “Without a Song."